June 2003
June 2004
Top Ten Training Tips for Karla’s New Clients
By: Dale Kinnear
- Never complain: Complaining motivates the trainer to do bad things to you.
- Do not talk during difficult exercises: Talking causes Karla to lose count. The new count is never in your favor.
- Grunt throughout tough routines: Sometimes Karla thinks an exercise is easier than it really is. Learn to grunt to show her you’re working hard.
- Laugh at your trainer’s jokes: It can be awkward when Karla laughs at her own jokes and you don’t join in.
- Humor your trainer: When your trainer thinks she’s cute and good because she tricked you into something, tell her so.
- Always agree with Karla’s “philosophy of the day” statements: For example, tell your trainer that you believe “happiness is a state of mind.” Translate it into words Karla understands, say things like, “I enjoy running up hill. The bigger the hill, the happier I am.”
- At all costs, avoid discussions on nutrition: A two minute reply to a question about nutrition will take at least 20 minutes of talking by Karla. And, she’ll expect that you do as she says.
- Never say you like or dislike a particular exercise: To the degree possible, remain neutral about your feelings regarding all types of exercises. If you tell Karla you like something, you’ll do it until you dislike it. If you tell her that you don’t like an exercise, you’ll do it until you hate it even more.
- Never ever pay attention to your trainer when she compares your performance on an exercise to that of another client: Karla makes things up!
- Never feel obligated to share all information with your trainer: There are some things that Karla has no business asking about. The size of my one martini is an example of this.
Strict adherence to these ten rules will make your training time with Karla more enjoyable.